While I was getting my wisdom teeth out and looking at
taxedermied bats on eBay, Clear Channel Communications was busy
taking over the American media.
Unless you live in a shoebox in the back of someone’s closet,
you have most likely been exposed to Clear Channel Communications
sometime in the last two days. Literally. The company brags on its
Web site that it “daily reaches 54 percent of all people ages
18-49” in America with its 36 TV stations, 26,000 annual
concerts and shows, and nationwide advertising.
If your shoebox is equipped with a radio, it’s even more
likely you’ve run into Clear Channel. The company owns over
1,200 stations nationwide, and syndicates shows like Rush
Limbaugh’s and Dr. Laura’s to another 780 stations
around the country. They also own radio trade magazines, concert
venues, and advertising spaces from billboards to airport signage
to those lit-up signs on the roofs of taxis.
Liberals and indie rockers have been protesting their fuzzy little
hearts out over the company’s tactics, and for good reason.
Nobody trusts them. If this were Star Wars, Clear Channel would be
Darth Vader, sweeping around in a big black cape and strangling
dissidents with the power of the Force. The only difference is that
Darth Vader didn’t call it “synergy.”
Clear Channel has synergy in spades. According to its web site,
almost 20 percent of the money advertisers spend on radio goes to
Clear Channel in some way or another. Piss them off, and you will
have a very hard time playing a Clear Channel-owned concert venue
or getting your single on the radio. Several bands and radio
stations have accused the company of boycotting people who get in
their way.
Okay, so maybe you’re not a rock star or recording industry
mogul. Clear Channel still affects you, though, because it’s
turning your local stations into the radio version of Chicken
McNuggets. It buys stations, lays off the staff, and replaces local
DJs with taped radio shows.
It eliminates local contests and promotions in favor of national
ones—when you call in for that free car or thousand dollars,
you could be competing against people from over a thousand other
stations all over the country. Local request lines are ignored,
local businesses have a harder time getting radio advertising, and
Clear Channel quietly substitutes its own synthetic version of
local for the real thing.
See, that’s where it gets creepy. Clear Channel knows people
expect some local connection when they listen to the radio, so they
fake it. DJs have “cheat sheets” of information related
to the markets they’re targeting so they can sound like
they’re just a few blocks away instead of the next state
over. News stations feature syndicated news or reports from wire
services, with little or no news from local sources.
They also record calls from listeners so they can be recycle them
on other radio stations. Remember this the next time you sneak down
to the phone booth to request the Justin Timberlake single
you’re so ashamed of loving: you might be on tape. Your voice
might be used as a lead-in for that song on radio stations all over
the country. Or, knowing the way Clear Channel works, they’ll
just keep it on file until you cross them somehow and they want
something to blackmail you with.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going back to my shoebox.
Yes, it has a radio, but I’m safe: it only gets NPR.
